In Trust - By Mara Lemanis
In Trust
I hold myself in trust
to a hundred thousand generations;
They laid a trust for me
to host a heavy load
of two-faced dispositions;
I feel their weight like scales
that balance yin-yang oppositions
of alternate goads and prompts
that close a circuit,
urge equilibrium;
or host a hydra head of killer nerves
that slash at binary pumps,
cut fear with lust
cut wrath with guilt
lay down a tangled nest
and look for markets
where profit margins
find high yields
when fear
drives hate
sidelining love,
strapping synapses to combat posts
to rout the opposition
and clinch an arsenal
in passion’s strong suit;
I’m held in trust
by a hundred thousand generations
that massed a legacy,
a coat of arms
from a code of genes
an unrelenting sequence
from darts of fear
to spears of hate
endowments
from the armored hearts
of men like Temujin
down to the sapless valves
of men like Stalin
Marcos, Pinochet
and all their fallow hordes
followers whose goads and itches
glazed smooth as glass reflectors
to emulate their masters’ spears
and form a perfect union
with victorious wrath;
Trust craves an equilibrium
the red cells pumping with the white
taming sorrow, ripe desire,
shame, sudden joy
into a law of love;
all while the host thrives
on predation
vain with greed
to make a foil of love
to mask his hate
and slyly wait for sunny rays
to heat up
love-logged pawns
melt pockets of dissent
ignite the will
with counterfeit love calls
parboiling sunbeams into holocausts;
Millennia long we trusted our first loves
thralls to ardor
like beetles flying into forest fires
to breed beneath the burned-out bark;
we broke the parity
between our polar sparks
built muscles on our itchiest nerves
until they grew, hardened
mounted into missiles
aiming self-extinction.
We view them now with fearsome pride
as if they shield a synchrony
protecting peaceful passions
we grant to pets and children
who laugh in wonder at
the industry around them
or the quiet concert savored
when air currents
make branches thrum
rippling a sparrow’s ruff
stirring the wind to sing
as a comrade smiles us into friendship.
We think this synchrony has smoothed our trust
while it has only
led us by the nose
to trust annihilation
as the preservative of love.
Mara Lemanis
Mara Lemanis
Biography: Mara Lemanis is a literary scholar. Her essays have been selected for 20th CENTURY LITERARY CRITICISM and are included in undergraduate student textbooks in the U.S.
She has worked as an archivist for Historical Preservation and with the IRC, assisting refugees in Oakland, California.
Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions expressed within this guest article are those of the author Mara Lemanis alone and do not represent those of the Marbella Marbella website. The accuracy, completeness and validity of any statements made within this article are not guaranteed. We accept no liability for any errors, omissions or representations. The copyright of this content belongs to Mara Lemanis and any liability with regards to infringement of intellectual property rights remains with the author.
